life is not measured Pictures, Images and Photos
Photobucket

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I'm a jerk

Today, I am sick of being a mom.

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids more than life itself.

But today, it's getting to me.

I've been off for the last few days, maybe that's partly to blame.

But I just feel like a failure as a mother.

The kids DON'T listen to me.

I'm sick of yelling and screaming and threatening.

It doesn't do any flipping good anyway.

They still act up.

Make me feel like an ass.



Today, I got all five kids Happy Meals.

The McD's on the parkway has 1.99 nugget happy meals Tuesday from 5-7.

So, I picked up five of them, and we went to African Rd Park.

First of all, I wanted the kids to eat.

Did they?

Of course not.

Then all the kids wanted to do was swing.

Which is fine.

Except that I have to push them all. And the swings at that park are like 4 feet off the ground.

We have swings at home.

Three regular swings, a glider, and a disc swing.

Do the kids play on them?

Not very often.

Therefore, if they want to swing, they can do it at home.

When we go to the park, I want them to run around and play on the stuff we don't have.

And, there are five of them.

I don't really feel like running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

So anyway, I kept telling the kids to GO PLAYYYYY.

So they run up to a random man in the park and ask him to put them in the swings and push them.

He tells them their mom will have to do that.

So, I get to feel like the jerk who refuses to put her kids on the swings.

Then, I ended up pushing them on the flipping swings. All 5.

I only did for about 10 minutes, then I told them I was done.

So what do they do?

They start fighting.

Crying.

Screaming.

Hitting each other.

Throwing wood chips.

And I'm left yelling and threatening.

"Do we need to go home? Then STOP IT, *right* now".

"What did I just say?"

"If you're going to keep fighting and be miserable and scream and cry and make everyone stare, we can go home and be miserable in private"

Needless to stay, we didn't get to stay very long.

We were there for an hour.

Which for us, is very unusual.

Usually when we go to the park, we're there for at least 2 hours, if not 3.




Tonight, I wanted to cry.

The kids were acting up so badly.

They wouldn't go to bed.

No one listens.

And I'm sick of it.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I don't know what I'm not doing that I should be doing, or what I'm doing that I shouldn't be doing, other than yelling.




I'm sick of being a jerk and yelling and threatening.

And I'm sick of my kids being jerks and behaving so poorly.



I'm at my wit's end.

The end of my rope.

And I don't know what to do.






No comments:

Post a Comment