Saturday, October 31, 2009

halloween! break time just before baths and costumes!
~*BonnieLea*~

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, Quicktime@ 6.5 or higher is required.

he ate too much candy
~*BonnieLea*~

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime� 6.5 or higher is required.

charlize at the walk in on halloween.
~*BonnieLea*~

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime� 6.5 or higher is required.

Friday, October 30, 2009

~*BonnieLea*~

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, Quicktime@ 6.5 or higher is required.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

our backyard. the yellow wonderland
~*BonnieLea*~

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime� 6.5 or higher is required.

I HAVE to

Learn how to sew. Seriously. I NEED to make the kids quilts from Anthony's clothes.

And I want to get all these clothes for the dolls I'm getting the girls for Christmas, but the prices are ridiculous. I refuse to pay more for doll clothes than I do for kids clothes.

The solution? Learn how to sew and buy a few sets of patterns for doll clothes.

http://www.bonanzle.com/booths/chaneylakegirl/items/Simplicity_4268_15_in_Bitty_Twins_doll_clothes_patterns

Look at all those cute patterns. I could totally live vicariously through my kids and give them the doll wardrobe I wish I had when I was little. Using those patterns and cute material that *I* pick out, their dolls could have awesome clothes.

I need to learn how to sew. Simple as that.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

thats 2 little noses. cinnamon and sage curled up together
~*BonnieLea*~

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime� 6.5 or higher is required.

Bad day yesterday

I had a bad day yesterday.

I was tired. I had a terrible headache. My back hurt. I have no idea why, but my back hurt. Badly. I was irritable and snippy beyond belief.

The kids weren't too crazy. I just felt like crap.

It took me two and a half hours to scrub out the ferret cage. I mean SCRUB. I took everything out, scrubbed it, scrubbed down the actual cage, took out the plexiglass bottoms and scrubbed them... it was a workout. And I'm really sick of these ferret crapping whereever they feel like it. There are 3 littlerboxes in that cage, there is no reason they should be backing into random corners. All of their bedding is falling apart and I really need to get them new hammocks and hideouts and everything but I can't afford to spend money on the ferrets this close to Christmas and when so much work needs to be done to my van.

Then my sister was late picking up her kids, so I was late picking up Holden and Dante. Which isn't a catastrophe, but it's freaking reallllly frustrating when she's late every single Tuesday, when she knows that every single Tuesday, if I watch her kids, I need her to pick them up by 345. I only get the boys for 3 hours on Tuesday... and every single week, without fail, I lose at *least* half an hour of that time because Linda is late, every single time. Ok, not every *single* time. We started this arrangement at the beginning of September. So out of 8 weeks, she was on time *once*. About 3 weeks ago. It's frustrating. And if it happens again I'm going to have to tell her that I'm not available to babysit on Tuesdays anymore.

Then I started dinner too late. I meant to put the roast in the crock pot in the morning and I didn't. I started it at 5 when I got home with the boys. Then Mom called right after I started browning it and told me it was too late, so I should do the pork roast on the grill. I didn't flipping feel like doing anything else. So I continued to cook what I was cooking and I ended up feeding the kids macaroni and cheese and sugar snap peas because the roast wasn't done in time.

When I dropped the boys off, they didn't wanna get out of the van. Which is typical for Holden. But Dante is always excited to go home, and for the last week, every time I drop him off he has a fit and says he wants to stay with me. Which is hard. I know Megan would let me keep them more if I asked. But I have soooo much going on and 5 rambunctious kids is a LOT of work, especially at bedtime when Rayce NEEDS to be to sleep by 8 or I'll have to drag him out of bed in the morning. I really feel like I'm doing all I can at this moment. If I wasn't babysitting Linda's kids, I could handle Holden and Dante more. But I can't handle both sets of kids at once, 7 kids age 5 and under is too many kids. And I have to babysit Linda's kids because it's the only thing I can do at home to make a little bit of money, which we really *need*.

I'm so stuck between a rock and a hard place. And it's frustrating. Very frustrating.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

lmao. sage is sleeping like this. butt hanging out. poor fat ferret lolllll
~*BonnieLea*~

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime� 6.5 or higher is required.

~*BonnieLea*~

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime� 6.5 or higher is required.

Monday, October 26, 2009

me and samson. man this dog has some serious cataracts!
~*BonnieLea*~

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime� 6.5 or higher is required.

~*BonnieLea*~

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime� 6.5 or higher is required.

liliya @ 21 months. 25

liliya @ 21 months. 25 lbs 32 3/4 inches. holy cow!
~*BonnieLea*~

charlize @ 40 months. 37

charlize @ 40 months. 37 inches and 30 pounds even :o)
~*BonnieLea*~

Sunday, October 25, 2009

dress rehearsal
~*BonnieLea*~

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, Quicktime@ 6.5 or higher is required.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Whew, it's been a crazy one

It was chaotic today.

It is most days, true.

But it was especially chaotic today.

The kids were up till after 1030 last night, and they were up at 7am anyway.

I left the house a mess last night. I let the kids stay up, hoping they would sleep in. So I didn't clean up. So when I came downstairs this morning, bright and early, I fed the kids, changed diapers, and had to clean up, sweep, and mop first thing.

Of course.

As soon as I was done, the kids dropped pieces of bananananana on the floor and then stepped on it. On purpose.

Then they spilled juice. Two cups of it. On accident.

It feels like such a lost cause some days.

I gave the kids all a bath before naptime.

Most days when I have Holden and Dante I give them all a bath before I take the boys home. But it's so hectic trying to get everyone fed and then bathed and then dressed in such a short period of time. So I decided to do it at naptime today.

My kids don't all fit in the tub anymore. But they have a fit everytime I try to split them up into 2 or 3 tub fulls. If I just put a couple of them in the bath at once, I can't keep the other kids out of the bathroom and out of trouble long to bathe the ones in the tub! So, this has been a dilemma lately. They usually end up all going in at once but then the hair washing is a *serious* challenge. Because there is no room for anyone to lay down to rinse. And since they're getting older I feel like they need to start taking baths seperately anyway.

*Sigh*. What's a Mama to do?!

~*~*~*~*~

For the last several months, Holden has been calling me Bonnie occassionally. Dante has always called me Bonnie more than Mama. But I was Mama to Holden for 2 1/2 years. I was the one who got up with him at night. I was the one who fed him his first bowl of baby cereal, who gave him his baths, who tucked him into bed at night. He always called me Mama. And it hurts my feelings when he calls me Bonnie. I tell him that yes, I am not his mother... Megan is his mother. I am his stepmother, and I have taken care of him a lot, and he can call me Mama if he wants to. Megan said she didn't mind if he called me Mama. Of course that was 1 1/2 years ago, maybe she feels differently now and she's told him not to call me Mama, I don't know.

Since I had that discussion with him he's called me Bonnie less. But it still stings when he does :o(

Speaking of Holden, I have been having a really hard time with him lately. He's always been stubborn and a bully. But it's been getting worse. He will just WAIL on Dante if Dante ticks him off. Like knock him down and punch him repeatedly. He's started spitting. He's been biting Dante as well. Of course Dante never gave up the biting so I can't tell if that part os Holden retaliating or what. He is so defiant.

I KNOW that probably half of that, if not more, is because of everything he's been through. That poor baby has been through more than any of us. He not only lost his father (which was even worse for him because he was *totally* Daddy's boy), he lost his stepmom (not completely but pretty much... I had been his primary caretaker since he came home from the hospital) and the home and family life he knew, all in one blow. He was only 2. He was old enough to know things were very, very different but not old enough to process any of it. My poor Bubba :'o(

I know that one day all of these kids will be old enough to understand everything that happened and appreciate the part I played/play in everything. But for now, it's all so confusing for them.

~*~*~*~*~

It's 820pm and I could go to bed right now! I have been going to bed a LOT earlier, most nights. Some nights I've been knocked out cold by 830. But it's obvious my body needs it, and I've felt better during the day when I get more sleep at night. There is really no reason I should need 10 hours of sleep per night... but hey... ya do what ya gotta do!

Don't forget to go vote for my beautiful babies here at the GAP casting call!!! You can vote every single day!


camp isaac... spaghetti night :o)
~*BonnieLea*~

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, Quicktime@ 6.5 or higher is required.

hmmmm. i got 20 free christmas cards but i need more. whaddaya think of this one??
~*BonnieLea*~

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime� 6.5 or higher is required.

~*BonnieLea*~

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime� 6.5 or higher is required.

Friday, October 23, 2009

liliyas masterpiece... apparently someone likes the smell of markers??
~*BonnieLea*~

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime� 6.5 or higher is required.

rayces masterpiece
~*BonnieLea*~

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, Quicktime@ 6.5 or higher is required.

~*BonnieLea*~

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime� 6.5 or higher is required.

Step 1 of 'Putting a Smile in My Heart'...

Doing more things *with* the kids. Instead of just sitting nearby or watching them.

Like the coloring we did tonight :o)

Markers, for the first time EVER!

Mama's feeling BRAVE!!!

:-D

SiMH tonight? Yep!

Vote for my babies!!!!!

Vote for my babies at the GAP casting call  here!! You can vote every day!!!


Rayce  

 Holden

Charlize

Dante    

Liliya     

Just thinking

I've been thinking a lot lately.

About things.

Feeling sentimental.

Missing Anthony. Sooo, sooooo much.

Thinking about how things could have been different. How things could have been better.

I don't regret the things I did. Only the things I didn't do.

I think that's how life goes, in general.

I wish I had done more. I wish I had had a different mindset about certain things. Not things I'm going to go into depth about on my very public blog.

Thoughts of a person who thinks too much...

How can I take these thoughts and make TODAY a better day???

Because today is a gift and tomorrow is never a promise. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.


I want to make a point to remind myself of that every day. To make the most of every day. To count my blessings when things get crazy. To count my blessings every night before I fall asleep, to go to bed with a smile in my heart.

its a lazy kind of day for the kiddos while mama works her butt of cleaning bedrooms and putting a million pounds of laundry away :-P
~*BonnieLea*~

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime� 6.5 or higher is required.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

liliya and grampa bob
~*BonnieLea*~

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime� 6.5 or higher is required.

Vote for my babies!!!!!

Vote for my babies over at the GAP casting call!!! You can vote once a dayyyy!!!

http://family.go.com/gapcastingcall/entries/campisaacmama/

charlize at the park. enjoying this fall weatherrrrr!
~*BonnieLea*~

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime� 6.5 or higher is required.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

liliya having a fit at the park. she doesnt like having to walk up the stairs to get to the slide...
~*BonnieLea*~

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime� 6.5 or higher is required.