life is not measured Pictures, Images and Photos
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Monday, August 31, 2009

my cinnamon :o)
~*BonnieLea*~

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our morning glories :o)
~*BonnieLea*~

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Sunday, August 30, 2009

for comparison... lol
~*BonnieLea*~

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before.....
~*BonnieLea*~

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the difference the relaxer made....
~*BonnieLea*~

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i relaxed charlizes hair!!
~*BonnieLea*~

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Saturday, August 29, 2009

sages butt hanging off lmaooooo
~*BonnieLea*~

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thats sages body along the back side, cinnamons head at the left, and nevilles body in the lower right. lol!!!
~*BonnieLea*~

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i let rayce stay up a little late.... this is what i find :-P
~*BonnieLea*~

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my dante and holden :o) cheeeeeeseballs!!
~*BonnieLea*~

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~*BonnieLea*~

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liliya singing happy birthday :o)
~*BonnieLea*~

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Museums and things to do

I think I'm gonna get a family membership to the Discovery Center, and pay the little extra to get the ACM Reciprocal Program Membership, which would give us free admission to lots of other museums.

http://www.thediscoverycenter.org/membership.html

http://www.childrensmuseums.org/visit/us_members.htm#newyork

Including the Strong Museum of Play in Rochester, which I've really been wanting to take the kids to, The ScienCenter in Ithaca, which the kids love, and the Crayola Center in Easton PA. If I'm going to get the DC membership, it would totally be worth my while to pay a little more and then get free admission to the other places. If we go to each of those places only once in the next year, it already paid for itself.

Sooooo I think I'm gonna do it. We go to Ithaca once every couple months anyway, to shop at the consignment stores. We go to the Rochester area at Thanksgiving time to my uncle's, we could make a weekend of it and go to the Strong Museum of Play. And the Crayola Factory is only just over 2 hours away... we could totally do a day trip there a few times in a year!!

Ohhhh I'm excited!!!
i love my kids. i love their picnic table. i love semi cooperation.
~*BonnieLea*~

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Friday, August 28, 2009

So proud of myself :o)

Even though I've been sick the last week, I am doing so well and I am so proud of myself.

It's a bunch of little things.

Staying off the computer more. Spending more time *with* my kids, having more conversations *with* my kids, controling my temper better when things get crazy. Keeping up with the housework better. Going to bed earlier. Spending more time on myself (ie... watching shows *I* want to watch after getting the kids in bed miraculously early and easily). Taking wonderful care of my ferrets, who have never known such a clean cage (yes, they still stink, even with twice daily cage cleanings!). Getting things done that I have been putting off up until now (like getting rid of things we don't need anymore).

It's such a good feeling.

I'm just feeling SOOO much better. Even though I'm sick. Even though my body is sick, my mind and my heart feel better.

I feel like a better mom. And that is worth everything. My kids are worth everything. I want to be everything for them. And I'm doing a much better job. Which makes me feel like a million bucks, aching ears, snotty nose, and all :o)
~*BonnieLea*~

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'liliya ur a booger'..... 'no ni not!'
~*BonnieLea*~

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the kids watching yo gabba gabba
~*BonnieLea*~

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Thursday, August 27, 2009

liliya marin, 19 1/2 months, breaking out the new fall wardrobe, compliments of the salvation army :o)
~*BonnieLea*~

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House, MD

Anthony and I used to watch House together. He would crack up, because Dr house is quite cocky, and Anthony was too. He thought House's character was just like him. Yes, Anthony was a bit egotistical and cocky. But he was sweet about it, anyway, and he wasn't a prick.

Anyway, Candice told me about this website called www.hulu.com where you can watch TV shows and movie online, for free. And I've been watching House almost every night after I get the kids in bed.

I haven't watched TV since Anthony died. Until a couple months ago, I had literally watched maybe a dozen hours in the last year+.

I figured that TV just wasn't that important to me. I watched it because it was on, and Anthony was the one who turned it on. Without him there to turn the TV on and to a channel other than Noggin or Nick Jr, I just didn't watch.

I have missed TV. I miss House. I miss Family Guy and South Park (love em or hate em, Anthony and I used to watch together and would *crack up*... and I love them).

The last episode I watched was about a cancer researcher who suddenly fell ill. Everyone wanted her case, because of who she was. Then she told them she had quit 8 months before. She quit because she had some kind of tumor removed at that point and was afraid she would die, and she thought to herself "I can't die, I haven't been happy yet". So she left her job and took cooking classes, piano lessons, she traveled...

It left me thinking.

Yes, I HAVE been happy yet. But am I happy every day? Am I happy on a regular basis?

Little moments throughout the day make me happy. Every time Liliya says "Hi Mama" in her sweet little voice, I am happy. Every time Charlize bats her eyelashes and asks me if she's gorgeous, I am happy. Every time Holden needs a snuggle to calm down, I am happy. Every time Rayce says something way beyond witty or amazing for a 5 year old, I am happy. Every time Dante wants a hug, from *me*, I am happy.

But still, I don't generally feel fulfilled. And that bothers me. I don't know how it's possible to not feel entirely fulfilled with all these beautiful babies running around that I helped make.

So, anyway... that's been on my mind a lot, and that's what I'm trying to figure out how to change.

:o)

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

neville sage and cinnamon
~*BonnieLea*~

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Accomplishments :o)

The last few days have been fairly successful, as far as success goes around here. I've been getting a lot done, and I feel safe enough to say that we have a nice and early bedtime routine established.

Between 730 and 8pm, the kids get their milk, have a nice drink, help me pick up so I can sweep, brush their teeth, and then pile into the bathtub. They get into the PJ's, lay in bed, I sing them a few songs or read a book, and then they lay quietly until they fall asleep. The last few nights have been amazing. Bedtime has not been hell. It's actually been quite pleasant, and I've had time to myself after they're in bed to actually *watch TV*!!! They have been in bed and asleep *by* 9, which is a miracle in this household.

I've been banning myself from the computer for large chunks of time during the day, and getting a lot done as a result. Yes, boredness and the internet suck up a lot of my time. I sit down at the computer pretty much every minute that I'm not directly doing something with/for the kids. I check my e-mail, I check facebook, play typing maniac, read blogs, write blogs, browse craigslist, edit photos, chat on AIM or yahoo... blah blah blah blah blahhhh. I *am* addicted to the computer. I could be addicted to something much worse, I suppose. But I have been working on spending less time sitting here in front it, and it's been paying off.

I have been having a lot of chats with Rayce, also, explaining to him why I need him to behave better and listen sooner, and that has been paying off as well. After the girls are in bed, I spend a few minutes with Rayce in his room, and we talk. And it's nice. :o)

I'm feeling better, more able, and just generally a little more optimistic about life again. It seems the last couple months have been kinda rough, I was having more down moments than I like to admit and just not feeling very good in general. But lately, I've been starting to a feel better again, and it's a wonderful feeling :o)

Monday, August 24, 2009

~*BonnieLea*~

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had way too much designing a skin for a phone i'll never have lol. but isnt it cuuuute?! and perrrrfect?!
~*BonnieLea*~

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