I've just been having a rough time lately. I don't know why. Usually summer is when I feel my best.
I think that my grief has a lot to do with it. I have been SOOOO busy so much of the time that the shock of this situation has taken a *long* time to wear off.
I'm lonely. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm overwhelmed and frustrated. I never expected to be raising these kids alone.
It's tough. It's really, really, really tough.
I miss Anthony so much. So much. SOOOOOOOOO MUCH. It hurts.
It's not just Anthony I miss. It's being *with* someone. Having someone to share everything with. Laying next to someone at night and feeling a warm body next to me. Having someone 'in this' with me 100%. Not that I would expect any future guy to be in this with me 100%... but 80% or so seems reasonable.
I have a lot more to say but I'm just not up to it.
So I guess that's all for now.
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