Monday, December 13, 2010

Casting call

The job: 
boyfriend

Must:
love kids
have your own car
not be racist
be laid back, go with the flow
be patient
not be grossed out by women farting, burping, or pooping
be taller then 5'6''
not be a toothpick
be understanding of all my baggage
enjoy chasing kids at the park and backyard BBQ's
NOT smoke

About me:



I'm sick of the dating scene. It's too much work. I want the boyfriend, without all the effort of trying to impress someone in the beginning. I am what I am. I'm fat. I have lots of baggage. Lots of kids. I am unemployed and I live at home. 

That being said, I'm one of the most accepting and understanding people you will ever meet. I'm loyal to a fault. I have never cheated, in my entire life. I love kids, so if you have them, no worries. 

I lost my husband almost three years ago. I miss him. Every day. With everything inside of me. That will never change. I have his picture up around the house. That's not going to change either.



I poop. I fart. I burp. I snore. I'm fat.
That's just me, and I'm not going to pretend to be anything I'm not.

I don't dress up. I live in yoga pants, jeans, a v-neck t shirts. That's the way I'm comfortable. I rarely wear makeup. I have my hair up in a messy bun 90% of the time.

I'm attracted to both white and black men. Non-thuggish, whatever race.



My kids are my world. Everything I do, I do for them. End of story. They always come first.

I don't really drink. I don't smoke. I don't do the bar/club scene.

I can't dance.

I am addicted to diet pepsi.

I can't have any more kids. Had my tubes tied after my last baby.
That being said, in the right circumstances, years down the road, if the opportunity presented itself, I would be thrilled to have more kids through IVF or adoption.

I love the color brown.

I used to have pet snakes, back before I had kids.
Now we have two cats, three dogs, and a hermit crab tank.

I'm terrified of spiders.

I'm in love with my kitten Ben.

To apply:
email me at bonnielea.isaac@yahoo.com
send a few pictures of yourself and a bio, tell me everything about yourself you want me to know
tell me what you think of my 'must' and 'about me' statements, and if you have any issues with them

And just in case you're up for some light reading, here's my dating profile...
Disclaimer: this profile is long. Really long. But I wrote it all out so everything would be out there in the open, up front, from the beginning. Reading the whole thing might save both of us some time 3

I'm Bonnie, 25, from Binghamton NY. I am a newly widowed mother of 3, I guess that's the most important thing you should know. My husband passed away almost 3 years ago. I'm ready to see who's out there, I guess. One thing is for sure, I'm not interested in even friendship with anyone who doesn't love kids. I have 3 of them, a 6 year old, a 4 year old, and an almost 3 year old, and 2 stepsons who are and will continue to be a huge part of my life.

I'm real. I don't pretend to be anything I'm not. The most important thing in my life is my kids, and that will never change.

I consider myself a BBW, size 20, and although I am working at it and losing weight, it might never happen to the degree I'm hoping. If that's an issue, go ahead and click the back button now.

I'm no fashionista, I don't wear much makeup or jewelry or dress up. I live in jeans, yoga pants, and v neck t shirts with tank tops, with my hair up 90% of the time. I have my ears and my eyebrow pierced and a couple of pretty tattoos :o) My eyes are green-hazel, my hair is dark brown with a slight red tint in the right light, curly, and waist length. I have all my teeth :-D and they're in good shape. LOL.

I love going out to dinner, movies, cuddling, and taking long, relaxing walks. I'm mostly calm, laid back, and not much of a party girl. I am an aspiring photographer, I loooove taking pictures (especially of kids :o), scrapbooking (when I have the time!), and journaling/blogging. I put my whole heart into everything I do. I'm a simple girl, a homebody. Although I don't put a whole lot of thought into astrology, I'm a pisces and the desciptions fit me amazingly well!!

I don't really have a 'type'. Personality is more important to me than anything. I like to be around open, honest, laid back people who are easy to talk to. I love talking, and I believe that communication is one of the most important aspects of any relationship. When I am ready for a relationship again, I want to be with someone who I am 100% comfortable around. Someone who appreciates me for who I am NOW, loves everything about me, and feels lucky to have me. He will have to love my kids, too, and accept that along with me, comes a lot of baggage. Any future guy will have to understand that I've been through a lot. I am 25 years old, and I prefer a man between 22 and 36 years old (definitely not set in stone), non smoker, and someone that doesn't party or drink often (I consider more than once a month to be often). Race is unimportant, I'm generally attracted to both white men and black men. My children are biracial, and if that's an issue, I'm not the girl for you! If your user name or profile include the works "papi", "playa", "69", "banger", "nucca", "lova", or if you call girls "ma", keep on browsing, because you won't get a response from me, cross my heart.

As far as my tastes in music, movies, and politics... let me just say that I don't get involved much in any of it. When I say my kids are my life, I mean it, they are pretty much my only interest, and everything I do, I do for them! I feel like a very boring person a lot of the time, because I don't have many non child-centered interests or hobbies. I'm very open to try new things, I just don't get the chance often.

That's me, and what I need, in a nutshell. Complicated, I know. But I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. I whole-heartedly believe in the quote "sometimes good things have to fall apart so better things can fall together".

For right now, I'm looking for a great guy to get to know. Someone to talk to and spend time with, someone to go to the movies with once in a while, out to dinner, someone who wouldn't mind a romp around the playground chasing a few kids or a BBQ in the backyard...

Also, be aware that I am on the shy and cautious side. I won't have my kids around someone until I'm sure they're gonna be around for a while, because I don't want people in and out of their lives. I want to chat with someone for a while (could be weeks, could be longer) before I think about meeting, as well. If that's an issue, you know where the back button is :o)

If that sounds like someone you'd like to get to know, then send a little wink my way (along with some info about you and a pic (I added pics of myself to the post, it's only fair to send a pic of yourself if you're going to respond ;)... "Hey my name is Mr Suave, wanna chat" doesn't tell me enough to make me want to write back! Tell me how old you are, if you have any kids, where you live, what you do for a living, what you do for fun, what you're looking for, and anything else you think I should know)... what's the worst that could happen? ;)




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