Memories

Rayce was goofing around last night.

I was sitting on the couch, he was standing in front of me.

I had a flashback.

About 5 1/2 years ago.

He was about 8 months old, our little Leap Frog activity table was in the corner of the room, next to the TV.

Standing at his little table, making it sing the ABC song, bopping to the music.
Wearing just a t shirt and a diaper, his huge thigh rolls and rubber band wrists exposed.

I look at pictures from when he was that age.

I don't know where the last 6 1/2 years have gone.

The days and sometimes even weeks creep by sooooo slowly sometimes.

There are so many moments I wish the kids would just hurry up and grow up.
That they would stop making so many messes, stop being so needy.
There have been times I was so sick of hearing "Maaaaaaammmaaaa" that I seriously wanted to change my name.

But I think back, to moments in the past that seem not very long ago at all, and then I want nothing more than to freeze time, right here, right now.
I want for them to stay this age, when they all want to sleep in my bed with me.
When they want only for my time and my attention, more than anything else.
When they want to be close to me, all the time, on my lap, in my arms.

These moments won't last forever.

Which is why I take so many pictures.
And why I really really really feel a strong need for a little video camera.
And why I desperately wish I had more time for scrapbooking.

Because once these moments pass, they are gone, forever, and all that's left is the memories.