Saturday, March 26, 2011

I feel like spring is never going to come.
It's the very end of March.
C'mon, Mother Nature!

The kids are all sick.
Starting to come out of it, I think.

But I'm just. OVER. IT.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I know this is mostly my hormones and PMS talking, but the last couple days, I'm really feeling BLAH.
I'm sick of the crap that is my every day life.

Every day.
I help wipe butts.
I bathe children.
I work on a mountain of laundry that never ends.
I clean.
Sweep and mop.
Vacuum.
Organize.
Oversee homework.
Comb hair.
Put crazy kids to bed (which takes over an hour, some nights).


But I can't do alllll of that every day.
So I get what I can done.
And in the meantime, the kids completely trash whatever I didn't get to.
And then it's ALWAYS still a mess.

And it's never done.
And that's really frustrating.
Lately, more than usual.

I'm hoping that once the sun starts shining a little more, I start feeling a little better.

I'm hoping that IF I ever "catch up", keeping up will be a little easier.
But some days it just feels hopeless.
Some days it feels like I'm stuck, right here, right now, and this is the only place I'll ever be, doing the same things I will ALWAYS be doing, every single day, for the rest of my pathetic life.
It's a lonely feeling.

And like I said, I know that it's hormones and PMS, almost that time of the month, lack of sunshine/vitamin D, physical exhaustion, and being just plain overwhelmed.

I just can't wait to feel a little better.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I ordered a few books on Amazon a few days ago, I can't wait to get them.
About parenting.
Discipline.
The parent/child relationship.

Someone on my FB friends list said something the other day about reminding herself that is it actually a relationship between parent and child.
And I had to actually think about that for a minute.

So much of the time, it feels like me against them.
But it IS a relationship.
And I need to treat it like one.
Do things to nurture it, as a relationship.
Like in any other relationship.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I've been playing on photoshop a lot with some of my new presets/actions and my older pictures, and I'm in love.
I just adore taking pictures.
Editing pictures.
Playing with pictures in photoshop.

I am in love with photography.
I really am.
It makes me so happy.

And that's how I know, this is what I'm supposed to be doing.
I am going to do everything I can this 'warm season' (spring/summer/fall) to do as much photography as possible.
My own kids, other people's kids, everything and anything.
Because it makes me happy.
It gives me practice.
And each great photo takes me one step closer to being able to make this into a part time job/paying hobby like I've dreamed of.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Anyway, guess that's enough for now.
The mountain of laundry is beckoning.

*sigh*

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