June 2010

I've barely been on the computer for the last couple weeks.

I'm slacking more and more on the internet scene.

But that's ok with me :o)

We're getting things done around the house and enjoying the springtime.

Sooooo, to keep our adoring fans up to date, as of late....

Yesterday was Charlize's 4th birthday.

It was also the day of Rayce's last t-ball game.

He hit on a pitch and didn't even need the tee :o)

He got his medal after the game.

He loved t-ball, and he can't wait to play soccer in the fall!

Charlize and her BFF finally both cooperated at the same time for a great pic of the two of them together!

We've been loving our new playground and dreading those rainy days that we can't play on it.

Silly Bandz are all the rage.

We've been splashing around in the kiddie pool.

There's been a playdate every weekend with some of our new friends.

And I've been spending lots of time falling for this amazing hunk.

Photos

Just a few pictures of my newborn niece, posted here on my photography blog.

Enjoy :o)

Summer Fun

I feel bad I haven't been keeping up with my blog the way I should be!!

But we're having lots of fun, enjoying the nice weather, and hanging around.

So, for now, these once a week or so updates with pictures are gonna hafta do :o)

There's been lots of t-balling.

Lots of park hoppin.

Lots of new-friend-making.

And a little bit of falling.

Introducing

Melissa Marie Rosado

May 25, 2010

9:13am

7lbs 12oz

Isn't she a doll?!?!

I am soooo looking forward to taking some gorgeous newborn pictures in the next week or so  <3

Congrats to my baby sister and my brother in law :o)

Newest news

I've been a slacking blogger lately, I know.

But I've been busy, like always, soaking up this gorgeous weather and enjoying my kiddos.

So, about the last week or so...

Jason and I met at the park with our crew of crazies.

We had an awesome time.

The kids all got along wonderfully, with each other, and with us.

This weekend, I photographed a wedding for one of my best friends, Candice, and her new husband Matt.

They eloped to keep it simple about 6 months ago, but did a more formal renewal ceremony on May 22nd for the family and friends to partake in.

It was awesome, and I am thrilled for them.

Then on Sunday, we went to my Dad and Stepmom's house for the afternoon.

We had a blast.

All in all, things are going really well, we're having fun, gearing up for summer, and spending lots of time together :o)

Bad Day :o(

I'm having a bad day.

A really bad day.

The girls are fighting like cats and dogs.

Making messes left and right, faster than I can clean them up.

My mom asked if I would be able to get some cleaning done today.

I wanted to cry when she asked me.

I feel like all I do is clean.

I clean every day.

But it never looks like I do.

It's so frustrating.

Yesterday I spent all day cleaning the kids rooms and getting load after load of laundry done.

So the downstairs got neglected.

Therefore, Mom thinks I did nothing yesterday.

Today, the girls flooded the bathroom, playing in the sink.

They tore open half a box of tampons.

They got the Cool Whip out of the fridge and finger/toe painted with it all over the floor that I had just mopped.

Just now, Charlize did something to Liliya.

Liliya said "I'm gonna tell your daddy".

Charlize said "You can't tell our daddy, he's in heaven in the sky".

Liliya said "No, he's dead".

Charlize said "I know, he died".

Liliya said "Who died him? Who did it?"

Charlize said "no one".

The conversation went on.

As I'm sitting here trying not to lose it.

They've been talking like that more and more lately, and it's really freaking hard.

It's seriously like they're just realizing that he's not around, in the past few months.

Liliya is just now realizing that she doesn't have a daddy and most people do. She was 8 weeks old when he died, she doesn't know anything different.

And it breaks my heart.

It's so hard.

And here I am, crying, my heart broken, listening to my girls, and still thinking about all the mess that's never gonna be cleaned up, because I just can't keep up and there is no one to help.

It's just not a good day.

Not a good day.

At all.

Random Updates

I haven't been online nearly as much lately.

Which isn't a bad thing.

But I thought I would give a little update :o)

Rayce is adoring t-ball. Ab. So. Lutely. LOVING IT!

He's in front, on the right.

Mother's Day was a good day.

I was dreading it.

I have a hard time because Anthony always made that day special for me.

But it was a good day anyway.

I had breakfast in bed.

A strawberry nutri-grain bar, served with a pink napkin, care of Rayce :o)

I went to Jason's for lunch and had a wonderful time, as always.

Mom and I had cake for dinner.

It was a good day.

I've been getting out of the house more with the kids, becoming regulars again at the PAL center.

I've been working realllllly stinking hard at getting the girls potty trained.

I'm soooo sick of scraping poop off an almost 4 year old behind. Gross.

I don't want to miss the window of opportunity with Liliya, so they're both training at once. Liliya is more than capable.

Speaking of Liliya, I decided the other day to put a relaxer in her hair.

I did one in Charlize's hair in the fall, and it worked wonderfully.

Liliya's hair is even more textured, with much tighter curls... the girl has her father's hair, period.

So I used the Just For Me kids relaxer.

She screamed the whole time.

Then when I washed it out and conditioned it, her hair was stick straight.

I cried.

So I popped her into the bathtub and washed and conditioned it again.

It came out a little wispy/curly, much better, anyway.

I cut half an inch of fuzz off the hairs in the front to give her some 'bangs', her hairline is still so far back that she looked funny, so I did what I could.

I felt a little better.

Then last night I put some little piggytails in her hair and they were flipping adorable.

I feel much better.

I have been saying for a while now that Liliya's adorable little heart shaped face just begs for pigtails, that I could tell pigtails were gonna be her style, and now she can pull them off :o)

It's taking some getting used to, for sure.

But it's cute, and she doesn't have to scream for 5-10 minutes every time I brush her hair before we leave the house.

That's why I relaxed it. To avoid the torture of brushing her hair.

She seriously screamed and cried and was hysterical every time I had to brush her hair, it was horrible and I felt terrible having to put her through that, I know it was hurting her but it had to be brushed.

Other than that, there's not much new going on.

We're just kind of puttering along, waiting anxiously for the spring-like weather to return to upstate NY, enjoying each other's company, having fun :o)

Meet Jason

Jason is the new guy in my life.

And he's amazing.

He tells me I'm beautiful.

All the time.

We talk for hourssss every day.

When we get together, all we do is talk.

I don't know how we're not sick of talking to each other yet.

We met online.

Talked for a few weeks.

Met, spent 8 hours together doing nothing but wandering around, window shopping, and talking.

Since then, we have talked on the phone and on messenger for hours every day.

We have had a few more dates, all of which were wonderful.

He's a really incredible guy, and I can't wait to introduce him to everyone.

Meet Jason.

<3

I'm glad I did.

t-ball

Tonight was Rayce's first t-ball practice.

It was awesome.

Beautiful.

Precious.

Hilarious.

And hard.

When he got his team t shirt and hat on, grinning from ear to ear...

My eyes were welling up with tears that I managed to blink away before they fell.

Anthony would have been sooo excited.

We always talked about how fun it was going to be once the kids were old enough to do things.

Things like sports.

He would have been soooo proud of our amazing boy :'o)

So, I was kind of choked up for a few minutes.

Then the rest of the time I was busy taking pictures and laughing at all the kids running around with no idea what was going on :o)

I am so proud of my boy.

He has a serious attitude.

But he is growing up to be such a bright, incredible little boy.

:'o)

Pics from the weekend :o)

A little bit of a plan

If you know me well, you know how much I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I have no options at this point in my life.

Lost my financial aid for school, took on too much at once and failed too many classes = no more financial aid.

Can't afford to pay to go to school.

Can't afford daycare in order to get a job.

Don't really want to put my kids in the care of someone else anyway.

But I'm thinking.

And working out a plan.

My plan involves:

some photography- taking more pictures for more people, even for free at this point, until I learn more and get better. Then doing whatever I can to make this into a paying side job/hobby. I don't have to make a lot. But I truly love taking pictures, so if I can make a little money off of it, to help out, it would be wonderful. And if I can get better, maybe I can make more money, hopefully at some point it will be enough to make the following happen...

school- doing whatever I can to take a couple credits at a time, starting as soon as possible but more than likely next fall, 2011, when Liliya can start pre-k. I will take one class at a time until I earn back my financial aid, doing whatever I can to save or make enough money to pay for the classes... at about $150 per credit and each class is usually 3 credits, plus the cost of books and supplies... ouch, but I've gotta make this work. I want to teach kindergarten, it is my dream career, and I'm going to make it happen.

So, that's all I've got for now. But my gears are turning, and I'm trying hard to figure out what I can do to get myself un-stuck. Because being stuck is not a good place to be.

Ahhhhhh spring :o)

Spring feels wonderful.

The warm air.

The cool breeze.

The leaves bursting out overhead.

The sunshine.

The cool rain.

A fresh start.

In more ways than one.

Spring is more a time of renewal for me than New Years.

Thinking about attempting a photoshoot with the kiddos today.

Wish me luck.

And look for the pics tonight or tomorrow.

:o)

A Date

I went on a date.

A wonderful date.

With an amazing guy.

We were together for 8 hours.

All we did was walk around, window shop, and talk.

It was great :o)

I'm so excited!!!

86,400

Seconds in a day.

To turn it all around or throw it all away.

Gotta tell em that we love em while we got the chance to say.

Gotta live like we're dying.

I should understand this more than most people.

When Anthony died, one of the first coherent thoughts that ran through my mind was "OMGGG I'm so glad I kissed him goodnight and told him I loved him last night".

Even having been through an experience like that myself...

It's easy to forget what's really important.

What is important?

My kids.

My friends.

My family.

Yes, we can't live in a nasty pigsty.

I do have to get things done, wash laundry, sweep the floor.

But the people are more important.

So, my plan for today is to sit down with the kids for a little while, maybe read some books together.

Then I'll toss in a load of laundry and do a little more picking up.

Then maybe we'll do a craft together.

And tonight, when the kids ask me to read another story and sing another song, I will.

But just one more :o)

Don't wanna be

I don't wanna be sick.

But I'm feeling like I'm starting to get sick.

Last night my throat felt a little scratchy.

I was coughing a little.

Then overnight my nose got stuffy.

Now, after being out with the kids all morning, I'm feeling slightly achey and very tired.

The tired is normal.

The achey, not so much.

I can't get sick.

I've got to much to do.

I don't wanna be sick.

Don't.

Wanna be.

Period.

Never done.

I spent literally all day today cleaning.

First, I cleaned some of the upstairs.

I always do the downstairs first, and then the upstairs doesn't get done.

So I threw a load of laundry in first, like always.

Then I cleaned off and vacuumed the stairs.

Then the hallway.

Then the upstairs bathroom.

Then the boys room.

Then I cleaned the downstairs, and swept.

Switching laundry in between, every time the dryer was done.

I got a lot done.

Still got the girls room and my own room to clean, and mountains of laundry to put away, as always.

But I got a LOT done.

I'm tired.

But it feels good.

Since I didn't have the boys over the weekend because Charlize might have been contagious, I'm picking them up tonight and keeping them until tomorrow night.

I'm going to pack a lunch, spend the morning at the PAL center with the 4 not old enough for school, then if I'm still up for it, take them to the park.

But I probably won't be up for it, after everything I've done today and everything I'll do tonight and tomorrow morning with all the kids.

So I won't tell them we might go to the park, until I'm sure.

I'm exhausted.

Charlize's glands are still about the same. A little smaller, I think, the ones behind her ear anyway. Under her jawline they're the same.

Liliya's fingers look pretty good.

Compared to yesterday, anyway.

Did I write about that? Charlize slammed Liliya's fingers in the bedroom door. We went to the ER for x-rays and steri-strips.

The steri-strips were supposed to stay on for 2-3 days if she left them alone.

She left them alone, they came off last night anyway. I grabbed the other half of the ones she cut and brought them home, I put them on Liliya's finger after the first set fell off.

The second set fell off by this morning.

Whatever.

I'm keeping bandaids on it when she's tired so she remembers not to suck on them.

But the skin is staying closed, which is good.

The skin flap that tore back... it looks dead. It's white, doesn't look like it has blood flow.

I hope it doesn't fall off, cuz it will leave a terribly sore spot open.

Ew.

Anyway, Mom took Rayce to the store with her... girls are passed out in the living room.

I think I might position myself in the big beanbag and close my eyes for a few minutes...

Weekend Blahhh

Charlize has been telling me her neck hurt for the past few days. I felt a few small swollen lymph nodes, nothing serious, no big deal.

This morning she woke up and told me her neck hurt again, and I could see the glands on the right side of her neck :o(

To the walk-in we went.

The Dr didn't know what it was.

Said her teeth looked fine, ears looked fine, that if it was allergies it would swell on both sides, that she didn't have any rashes or scratches near the swelling, so he basically had no idea what the issue was.

He was not happy that the swelling was on just one side, because that's not normal.

He said it could possibly be an infection of the gland itself, but she doesn't have a fever or any other symptoms.

He said even though she had the vaccination for mumps, there is a small chance it could be that.

He said that in very rare cases, random swollen lymph nodes could indicate something more serious like some kind of cancer.

Sooo I've been instructed to give her children's ibuprofen 3 times a day for the next few days, hope it goes away on it's own, follow up with her Dr next week, and hope that they don't decide to biopsy it if it doesn't go away and other symptoms don't appear.

Fun stuff.

Sooo I don't have the boys this weekend, in case whatever she may or may not have in contagious :o(

I HATE it when I miss time with my stepsons. We miss them. I try not to let it happen, I only cancel if someone is sick and contagious or if I'm so sick that I can't even take care of my own three kids, which only happens maybe a half dozen times a year. But it's still hard to miss time with them, at all.

It was terrrrible when I had strep throat, I missed them for 2 visits in a row, an entire week, it was like adding insult to injury.

But we've gotta do whatever we can to keep everyone as healthy as possible.

It's going to be a long weekend.

I've been feeling so blahhh and tired and worn down for the last few days, I'm sure this rainy weekend will be no different.

I need to get a ton of laundry put away, all of our bedding washed and bedrooms cleaned. I need to clean the ferret cage and give them baths and clip their nails. I need to work in the basement to get more stuff out of there.

I need to try to get some extra rest, if at all possible.

Bedtime is going to come early tonight. I hope I can manage to get some good sleep, it's been hard to come by lately.

Anyway, enough for now, I've got kiddos to put in bed.

I'm tired.

I haven't been sleeping well the last few nights.

Thinking a lot about Anthony.

A couple days ago, Liliya said, out of the blue, "Where's my daddy?"

I told her he passed away and went to heaven. She's 2 years old and she's never known him, she doesn't get it.

So finally I said "he died".

Then she kept repeating it.

It was rough.

Then last night, Rayce came into my room crying at almost 10pm, saying he missed Daddy.

He has NEVER done that before.

Never.

He has never cried for his daddy.

Rayce just accepted it, from the beginning.

It was strange, but I was glad he didn't seem to be permanently damaged by losing his father.

But last night made me realize that just because he doesn't say it out loud often, he is missing his daddy.

And that breaks my heart :o(

So anyway, I let Rayce sleep with me last night, and that added to my lack of good sleep.

I've had my nephews more lately than normal, and I haven't been able to get much done.

So today, even though I'm exhausted, I'm trying to get as much done as possible.

I got the girls dressed when I got Rayce dressed.

I jumped in the shower as soon as Rayce got on the bus.

I put in a load of laundry, cleaned, swept, and mopped the kitchen and the downstairs bathroom.

Now I'm just sitting here, thinking about how tired I am, among other things.

I need to get moving again to keep myself awake and going.

Its only 10am.

Gonna be another long day.

I'm tired.

But here I go, off and running.

Camp Isaac Says, 1st edition

According to Rayce, firstborn, leader of the pack, smartie pants, 5 3/4 years old.

Tell me the five best things about you.

Hmm, I don't know. I'm smart. I am... I don't know. Am I talking on the computer? Am I talking on the computer? I get up early. I know what month it is. Oh wait, no I don't. I clean my room. Actually I don't really clean my room. I don't know. I love my family. Am I talking on the computer? Ok, am I talking on the computer? I'm Rayce!

If you had ONE wish, what would you wish for?

Butterscotch. It's a horse toy that looks like a real pony.

What is your favorite toy?

Dinosaurs. All of them.

What is your favorite thing to do with Mama?

Go to the movie theater and play games.

How old do  you think Mama is?

twenty six

How old do you think Grandma is?

fifty.

(well those questions weren't any fun, he was one year off of my age and exact on Grandmas!!)

What's one thing you think Mama is really good at?

puzzles. You're so smart when you do puzzles.

What makes mom happy?

when I be good




What makes mom sad?

when I don't be good



How does your mom make you laugh?

you say 'don't smile'



What was your mom like as a child?

i think you were a kid




 How tall is your mom?

fifty and a half inches



What is her favorite thing to do?

clean and wash the dishes



What does your mom do when you're not around?

clean



If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

i dunno




What is your mom not very good at?

putting away the clothes


What does your mom do for a job?

you used to work at the mall at the toy store but now it's to stay in the house and clean and drive us places



What is your mom's favorite food?

chicken


What makes you proud of your mom?

putting the bathroom window up?



If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?

Dora



What do you and your mom do together?

ummm. read?

Camp Isaac Says...

I've decided to add a little something new to my blog, to make it a little more interesting and more regular.

I'm calling it "Camp Isaac Says", or CIS for short.

A few times a week I plan to sit down with one or more of the kids and ask them some open ended questions, typing their answers word for word.

It should be fun :o)

So, look for the first edition of CIS later this afternoon or this evening!

Not Much

Not much going on around here.

Spring Break is almost over. On Monday, Rayce goes back to school and we all resume our normal schedule.

Rayce misses school. He's been making himself 'kidwriting' sheets to work on :o)

Everyone is doing pretty well, myself included.

We were enjoying the warmer weather, and not really enjoying the cooler temps that rushed back in yesterday. We're excited for it to warm up again soon.

Tomorrow we'll be planting some seeds in a little greenhouse box. I've got the seeds soaking, and I am soooo excited for the kids.

This will teach them a little about patience.

The actual 'poking the seeds into the dirt pellets' will be fun for them, but waiting for them to grow... that's the real treat.

I'll be posting some recent pictures within the next few days.

I've got lots to get done today before I pick the boys up this afternoon.

Bedding to wash, floors to sweep, mop, vacuum, tons and tons of laundry to put away.

Sooooo, that's all for now, folks :o)

Easter Pics

We had a wonderful Easter :o)

To see pics of my sister Ashley's photoshoot, head on over to my photography blog.

Easter

Is one of my favorite holidays.

We're not very religious people. We don't go to church, although I am looking to change that.

It's just a nice day for togetherness, a nice dinner with family, and fun for the kids.

Today has been a great day, and it's only 10am.

I stayed up late last night putting baskets together.

The kids each got a couple Littlest Pet Shop toys (they LOVE those things!), a small chocolate bunny, a few lollipops, some gummies, startburst, smarties, and m&m's.

I try hard not to overdue it as a gift giving holiday. I try hard not to get too much candy. I try hard to only put in their baskets what I will allow them to eat in a day or two, because they get frantic about finding it and eating it, wherever I hide it.

My kids don't get candy regularly, at all.

I don't buy junk food to bring into the house. We don't keep chips or ice cream or candy here.

So Easter and Halloween are especially exciting for the kiddos :o)

Today, the kids got their Easter baskets, ate candy for breakfast, colored some eggs (we're simple people, we dip dye them and that's it!), baked some ready made cookies (less mess!!!), now I'm trying to clean up before I toss the kids in the bath.

Would be pointless to bathe them and THEN clean up, because they would get filthy again as soon as they got out, with all this candy laying around.

After we're all showered and dressed, we're going to my dad and stepmom's for an easter egg hunt and a photoshoot.

The sun is shining, it's warm, I have all 5 babies with me today...

it doesn't get any better than this!

Pictures to follow, tonight after the kids are in bed :o)

Vitamin D

I'm sooo enjoying this sunshine, soaking in as much vitamin D as I can.

Getting some sun always makes me feel better, no matter what nonsense is happening.

Today we spent a bit at the PAL center, went to lunch with Pauline and Sadie, and then went to the park.

It's so warm out, even the walk to the park (3 blocks) and back was enough to make us sweat. The kids were all rosy-cheeked and exhausted by the time we got home.

I loooove spring.

I loooooove sunshine.

I am sooo looking forward to tomorrow.

Up to find Easter Baskets.

Egg coloring.

Cookie baking.

Bathtime.

Getting dressed in Easter clothes.

(yes we are 'celebrating' Easter tomorrow because my stepsons aren't here on Sunday)

A photoshoot with all 5 kiddos dressed up.

A photoshoot for just Holden, for his 4th birthday, almost a month late    :-/

An egg hunt and lunch at Grampa and MiMa's.

A photoshoot with Grampa and MiMa and Auntie Ashley.

How much better could it get?

Seriously?!?!

Tomorrow is going to be a perfect day and I am going to do everything in my power to soak it all in and just live in the moments.