Overflowing.

My kids have been monsters lately.

Especially Rayce.

I don't know what's up with him, but I feel like a failure as a mother when he behaves so poorly.

Last night I wanted to cry because I was so frustrated with them.

We had gone grocery shopping and it was pure hell.

Then I think of little Acen.

And even though I'm still frustrated, I feel better.

I would rather have my arms overflowing than empty.

:o(

In other news, Rayce isn't as excited about school as I had hoped he would be.

Yesterday was the first day back, and I had to fight him out of bed, fight him to get his reading done, fight him to get him to bed.

It was the same today.

I hope we can get into a routine that will make this all easier.

For all of us.

Tonight, I'm counting my blessings.

I need to remember how abundant they are more often.

I have three amazing (albeit sometimes monstrous) children, two amazing (ditto) stepchildren, a wonderful family who supports me in every way they can, especially my incredible mother.

I had 4 1/2 years with my Anthony, who gave me these gorgeous kids and taught me how to love completely unconditionally (among numeous other things). Eleven days from today would have made 7 years.

I have a boyfriend who loves me for everything I am, and everything I'm not, who accepts my past and my 'baggage', deals well with my quirks, who I can be 100% myself around and tell him everything and anything that runs through my mind without a second thought (what an incredible blessing is that?!).

I have a few great friends who are there for me no matter what, each in their own way.

We have everything we need and a lot of what we want (we have people who pass things down to us at just the right time (two different people sent/brought clothes today that their kids had outgrown, how lucky and helpful is that?!), we have so many people who think of us often, who love us, and help us out.

My life, my arms, my heart, and sometimes my eyes

they certainly are overflowing, in more ways than one.