:o(

I really, really, really miss my boys.

I don't think I've ever missed them so much after just 24 hours.

It's just that it finally felt so right. It finally felt like everything was going to be ok, everything was going to work out.

I felt like I could handle it. I was handling it, with relative ease.

I wasn't completely overwhelmed. I wasn't ready to rip my hair out.

I was not only handling all 5, but enjoying it.

I wasn't sure that would ever happen. That I could ever have such an easy (a relative term) and enjoyable time with all the kids.

It was going so well, I could do it forever.

And, just like that, it's taken away from me. Again.

I'll have them Tuesday afternoon, like usual.

But it's not the same.

It's not right.

And tonight, I miss my boys, my beautiful stepsons, more than I have ever missed them. And it's only been 24 hours since they were here in my arms.